Find Out more About Gemma, why she started this blog and read all about her personal Friend project.
My Friend Project
I have never hidden my anxiety but I’ve never been one to shout about it either. I am very open to having honest and frank conversations about it but I never like to burden people with the problems that fester in my mind. I would HATE to be seen as the negative friend but I really feel like this month my anxiety made me a bad friend.
Not really a direct friend post but just to reiterate the importance of alone time. This time alone only impacts all other aspects of our life including friendships in such a positive way. When planning out your week, allow for self-care; it is the kindest treat you can give yourself. If you’re feeling overwhelmed take a break, you deserve it!
It was one of those long conversations with someone where you just agree on everything! We were twinning on where our lives are at, what we like to do, the types of people that we are and everything in between. We had many ‘YASSSS!!’ moments of pure appreciation that we were exactly on the same page.
Today I lost my best friend. My horse Nixon, of 8 and a half years passed away and I am heartbroken. I’m struggling to find the words to even give justice to the life changing impact he had on me and how has been my absolute rock.
‘But you’ve got us’... I’m grateful at my family’s attempt at making me feel wanted this Christmas but the truth is I’m absolutely dreading it. I would rather sleep, eat, drink wine and pretend it’s not happening alone, than be in a room filled with people that I tirelessly need to pretend I’m fine in front of.
I understand they have their own lives to focus on, they have babies that rely on them, they have bigger grown up responsibilities. They don’t have time for me to be moaning on about my life, for me to drag them down. Equally so I don’t have time to waste. I need to be out, meeting new people, creating new experiences and finding me again.
I NEED this person in my life. I don’t need them for nights out, for day trips, for coffee meetups… I need them because they are more like family. They are beautifully honest, we’ve been through highs and lows and we’ve stuck together no matter what. This is a special kind of friend and definitely one to keep.
My friend project didn’t mean that I completely cut everyone I already knew out of my life. I have some amazing people in my life including long distant ones. Sometimes it can be difficult to stay in contact with long distant friends and life gets in the way, but true friends don’t mind and are happy to hear from you
I went to my next ‘play it safe’ and avoid human contact embarrassment option… the internet! Lots of people have met each other online for dating and I figured it’s got to be the same for a friend right?
I was nervous and anxious. Could I really do a whole day out alone? My anxiety took a hold of me; what if something happens? What if I suddenly fall ill? But The Friend Coach in me knew I had to do this for me and for all other women like me out there.
I think the best thing to come from this journey is that suddenly you see the world so differently. You are more aware of how you spend your time, who is around you and you focus on quality conversation. You have to look for the opportunity to make friends wherever you go. Unfortunately there is no secret location that all other 20 somethings are waiting to find other friends.
My Friend Project is allowing me to discover friends, try new things and ultimately reinvent myself at The Friend Coach so that I can help others do the same. My first research lead me to whether there is such a thing at the PERFECT friends. I narrowed my findings into the following...
Throughout my twenties I have learnt a lot about different types of friends and how life events can impact friendships. By going on My Friend Project I was very honest with my journey and would share details with anyone that would listen. It just so happened that the people willing to listen grew and grew. I was amazed at just how many other ladies in their twenties that were experiencing exactly the same as me. It didn't stop there, in fact women of ALL ages were experiencing the same.