My friend is pregnant
There is always a lot of advice for conceiving, pregnancy, new mums etc but absolutely nothing for the friends that get left behind – but don’t worry I’m here for you. Throughout my 20s I have watched many of my friends get married and have babies and do you know what… it’s a game changer for you as much as them.
You are now sharing your friend with more changing responsibilities, financial strains and time limits. I am not saying that you will lose your friend, far from it, but what I am saying is that your friendship is going to be very different now and the sooner you accept that, the happier you will be.
Here are 5 actionable easy steps to ensuring your happiness and wellbeing while dealing with the ‘my friend is pregnant’ announcement:
1. Show immediate excitement, happiness and joy for your friend
No matter how you are feeling right now; your reaction to the news will never be able to be changed. Your friend is going through a new and exciting chapter in their lives be there to celebrate the news with them.
2. Give yourself time to process the news
Depending where you are in your life will depend on what happens next. I’m assuming you are reading this because you are unsure of how to react and how this affects you, so that is the angle I am going to take. This is probably a big surprise for you so give yourself time to think about what this means and what will change. It will be a new chapter not only for your friend but for your friendship too.
3. Do NOT compare your life to hers
Yes, I know you’re already at that point. You’re crying into a large glass of wine and frantically searching google for acceptance that your life is fine just because your friend is pregnant. Girl, you got this! The universe has a plan for you and let me tell you this, just because you’re not first doesn’t mean that you will be any less happy and doesn’t mean that it will never happen for you.
4. Act normally, ask questions & show an interest
Even though the news is raw and you may be feeling unsure, do everything you normally would with your friend. Still text her, still be there, ask her pregnancy questions and amend your friend time to suit her. I think pregnant women hide a lot of their insecurities to not allow people to know that they are worried about this huge life change. She will appreciate it.
5. Amend your path as necessary
Selfishly, just because your friend is pregnant does not mean you need to stop drinking wine or eating blue cheese. Live your life how you want to live your life, find new friends to do the adventurous, crazy going-out stuff with and have lovely cosy dinner dates and nights in with your pregnant friend.