My friend is ignoring me

Wait, WHAT?! Is this actually a friend? I guess there are a few various reasons why your friend may be ignoring you, but my gut instinct would be that this person may no longer serve you, or you may no longer serve them as a friend. But let’s go into details, get down to the nitty gritty and work out why ‘my friend is ignoring me’ and see if the friendship is worth saving.  

In order to work yourself logically through the situation you need to ask yourself the When, Why, How, What?

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When did your friend start ignoring you?

Doing a bit of detective work into when your friend started to ignore you could help you uncover the reason why. Maybe it was around a life changing event, maybe it was something you said or did or maybe it was when they started dating their new love interest.   

Why is your friend ignoring you?

There could be various reasons why your friend is ignoring you. There is absolutely no reason to over react at this stage. Have you done something that may have offended them? Are they going through a life altering event that is distracting them from everyday life? Have you been miserable recently and they can’t be bothered with your shit? Seriously! Sometimes we are quick to blame others when actually WE are the problem. It is worth re-reading text messages, considering recent conversations and working your way through why they may be ignoring you. If you can put your finger on why they are ignoring you, it makes it much simpler to resolve. If there is no reason, it’s enough to drive you crazy!

How are they ignoring you?

Are they ignoring your text messages but acting completely normal in person? I have to say I’m not a great texter. I read messages and forget to reply. I’m not ignoring my friend, texts just aren’t as important to me as quality time in person. I guess what I’m trying to say here is be conscious that you are not being over sensitive. If they are ignoring you completely by text message, avoiding your calls and avoiding seeing you, it would suggest a greater problem. You should also consider how long it has been going on for, the longer the more serious.

What are you going to do about it?

This is the important part. Just because your friend is ignoring you currently, doesn’t mean that is it the end of your friendship. If you identify that you could be the reason your friend is ignoring you, you may want to apologise and make it up to them. If you feel like there is a more personal temporary reason that they are ignoring you, give them the space and time they may need. Be there for them, but don’t pester. If you feel they are just point blank ignoring you despite all your efforts of contact through different methods of communication then it may be time to reevaluate your friendship. Maybe it has fizzled out and it is time to move on.

Take time to work out why your friend is ignoring you, if you are to blame make amends, if there is no valid reason and you’ve tried to communicate with no response, move on and make new friends. A real friend should not make you feel undervalued, insecure or ignored.

As The Friend Coach I encourage open friendships, honest friendships and quality friendships and ignoring each other certainly is not a part of that. If you would like to join our community click here.