If you haven’t found your tribe yet, it is not too late. There can be many reasons that you haven’t found your ‘people’. The best bit is that there are plenty of things you can do about it too. Some of the reasons may not be your fault and this can be a good opportunity to turn a negative situation into a positive one. Read the reasons below and see if any resonate with you.
5 reasons why you haven’t found your tribe yet
You’re not living a life that feels authentic to you
Have you found yourself shaping your life around the things you think you’re meant to be doing rather than what you actually want to do? This can cause frustration in many areas of your life and your friendships can suffer. When you’re doing things you love you will naturally meet other people that have similar values as you. Are you in a job you hate, are you living somewhere that doesn’t align with your social expectations or is there a burning desire to do a specific hobby you’ve been putting off? Only you can make the changes.
You haven’t settled for less than you deserve
Realistically, it is easy to find other humans and call them friends, even when they aren’t actually friends. One of the reasons you may not have found your tribe yet is because you refuse to settle for less than you deserve. This is something you should celebrate yourself for and not berate yourself for. It doesn’t mean you’re never going to find your tribe, it just means they haven’t crossed your path yet.
You haven’t found your tribe because you need to do some self-love work first
I’m a huge believer of things happening at the right time. It can be hugely frustrating when you don’t get what you want when you want it. I’d like to remind you though it doesn’t mean it’s never going to happen. I usually find if something is out of alignment, I need to learn a lesson. Ask yourself what answer you could be seeking to find right now. From building your confidence in how not to be codependent, there are lots of things we can teach ourselves when we feel alone. Maybe it’s time to actually love yourself.
You have unrealistic expectations
The media does a fantastic job of portraying unrealistic expectations for friendship. I grew up watching Friends and genuinely believed when I became an adult I would have a close group of friends like the 6 of them. It didn’t happen. Although I have made friends through different jobs, locations and times in my life, none of them know each other. I also grew up to realise I much prefer 1-to-1 friendship time than hanging out in a big group, so there was that too!
You’ve been too closed minded
There is such a thing as trying too hard. I don’t mean this by trying too hard within creating connections but more trying to determine who you are friends with. You’ve probably heard the saying opposites attract and friendships can really be formed in the most unlikely of circumstances with the most unlikely of people. If you are guilty of being too close-minded and trying to curate your friendship circle around a specific type of person, it is time to live more freely. Keep sparking up conversations, being open-minded and reaching out to people you feel like you have a connection with.
Always remember, just because you don’t feel like you have found your tribe yet, it doesn’t mean that you never will. Take care of yourself, love yourself and build your confidence in the background. A lack of friends does not make you a failure, do not use it as fuel for self-hate. Use it as a constructive way to achieve even deeper self-love and happiness. A lot of people don’t get the chance to even get to know themselves fully so don’t waste this opportunity.