How to deal with family at Christmas

Forget the idyllic Christmas portrayed on the adverts and in the media, usually, Christmas time brings a lot of family stress. A lot of families are complicated and not as straightforward as everyone loves each other and gets on.

In this podcast episode, I give you 5 top tips on how to deal with toxic family members so that you can enjoy your Christmas:

It is available to download from iTunes here.

Show Notes

I feel like I have to mention here that identifying someone as toxic does not mean that they’re a bad person. I come across people that get offended when I use the word toxic. I identify someone as toxic if they impact your energy.

For example, this person could be a family member that always end up offending you in some way. You know like a brutally honest gran who tells you you’ve gained weight, a weird uncle that likes to play on the fact that you’re single or a show-off cousin that makes you feel inadequate af.

Disclaimer: These aren’t bad people and you should never try to change anyone.

So what you can change is how you react to all the family drama that you know is awaiting you over Christmas. If there is a trend in their behaviour you are probably already playing out Christmas day in your head and cringing at the thought. Here are 5 top tips on how to deal with toxic family and enjoy your Christmas.

Don’t go out of your way to please others but be willing to compromise

Christmas is all about balance. A little give and take. Do you know what happens when you go out of your way to please others? You pain yourself and create an expectation in others. There is no mutual appreciation if you are doing something you don’t want to do. However, if you are compromising and coming to mutual agreements everyone wins and feels good.

Create an invisible energy barrier

Take a deep breath, hold your head high and project self-confidence and self-love. You have just made it through another year and one toxic family member is not going to ruin your vibe. Imagine a barrier around yourself that is filled with love, light and hope. Everything around that barrier (especially toxic words) simply bounce off it and don’t even reach you. This is when the phrase ‘living in a bubble’ is so appropriate, as long as you are happy and your loved ones are happy that is all that matter.

Laugh about it

If you know what to expect, it won’t come as a surprise when the offensive words start flowing. But the best bit is you are in control of how you react to them. You can literally choose not to get offended, laugh off any irrelevant comments and continue your positive vibing. One negative comment in the midst of 24 hours is really so not worth worrying about. You can even start a fun tally of critical comments or offensive remarks. Literally turn it into a game and laugh about it.  

You’re allowed to say no

If you have a particular toxic family member that you do not want to see, don’t see them. You have the choice. You are in control of your life. You are allowed to say no. If you know seeing someone is going to have a profound impact on your mental health or wellbeing then politely decline the offer.

Own who you are

There is something so beautiful in knowing that you are the only person who knows what it is like to be you. You are in control of your time and your energy and you should spend those like currency. Your time and energy run out every day so make sure you are spending it wisely. This rings true, especially over Christmas. This is your time to celebrate just as much as anyone else’s and if you’d be happier spending it alone then do just that.

Other things to remember:

*Hanging out with people that do not fulfil you will leave you feeling lonely
*Don’t feel guilty if you are surrounded by family and still feel lonely
*Avoid drama – Bite your tounge, be forgiving and let things go
*Buy yourself a present to open at the end of the day as a self-love treat

I’m wishing everyone love and light this Christmas. You have totally got this. 

Gemma xx

Author: Gemma Scopes

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