Every time I scroll through my Twitter, I am sure to see a positive message on my feed from Ruth In Revolt. A wonderful soul with seemingly endless energy to support other bloggers and those suffering from mental health problems. She is absolutely smashing the blogger world and creating a beautiful community too. If this wasn’t enough for me to want to interview Ruth, she loves YELLOW!! In this Friendship Interview, Ruth talks about being an introvert, suffering from anxiety and the importance of being yourself when it comes to friendship.
Hi Ruth, I love the positive messages you share through your blog for other bloggers, when did you start Ruth in Revolt and what was the driving force behind it?
I started it in April 2018 following being diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Blogging is something I’d tried to do before, but never had the confidence to really pursue. Yet, this time, it was different. I think that’s because the driving force was – and still is – to help people. I just want to spread a little sunshine and make the internet a better place to be.
You’re very open about your struggles with mental health, how has it impacted your life and friendships?
Having anxiety, I find it difficult to go to social events and meet new people. On the rare occasion, I manage to go to one, I struggle to interact with others. I worry I will say something ridiculous, so I end up saying nothing at all. I’ve been living in Aberdeen for over a year now, and still, know barely anyone because of this!
Even when I’ve made friends, I don’t like to be a bother. I’m getting better at it now, but I never used to like messaging first or being the first to ask to meet up. I didn’t want to appear needy, and I’d have it in my head they have better things to do with their time.
Depression clouds my judgment and makes me have an incredibly negative view of myself. As you can imagine, that makes developing friendships difficult. I don’t tend to put myself out there much, because I think “I’m a loser, they don’t want to know me.”
It’s hard because I want to make friends, but most days, there are bigger forces which hold me back. I think, as well, mental illnesses mean you need time to yourself sometimes, or you cancel plans every now and then because it’s too overwhelming. Not everybody understands that.
Are you an introvert or extrovert?
I am introvert, through and through! It’s definitely always been the case – in my nursery report, my teacher wrote “Ruth enjoys playing with one other friend but also needs space to herself. During most sessions, she will spend a short spell purposely on her own”. So, right from when I was a little one, playing in the sandpit, I’ve relished in time by myself.
As a blogger do you ever experience feelings of loneliness and how do you avoid/overcome them?
Not very often. For the most part, I manage to avoid it by trying to keep myself connected with people. Even if it’s only a few, having those people who you can chat to each day means you always have some interaction. If I feel those feelings creeping up, I’ll spend a little more time on social media, rather than working away by myself.
Tell me about your current friend circle and how have your friendships formed and changed throughout your life?
My current friend circle is very small but worth its weight in gold. I’ve never been one to have a large group of friends, so that’s always been the same. However, I think, as I’ve grown older, I’ve begun to appreciate honesty in a friendship more than I used to. I love having people around me who aren’t afraid to say if they disagree with me or can assert their own opinions. It’s not only being honest with me but with themselves. People who know exactly who they are and embrace it. I’ve definitely come to realise how wonderful it is to be around those kinds of people.
Have you been through a friend breakup and why did it happen?
I have, and it was simply because we became very different people. She went off to university, and I didn’t. While she was there, she found a new crowd and, I think, found herself. She was living her university life to the full, which involved lots of drinking, and that’s not something I’m into. It became increasingly difficult to talk to her until we both realised we had very little in common and let it go.
When was the last time you made a new friend and how?
I’ve been able to make lots of new friends through blogging, and the one who sticks in mind is Zara. I think we just got talking because I loved how positive she was on Twitter, and her Instagram stories always made me laugh. Even though we haven’t met, I’d now call her a good friend – we natter all the time. I have no doubt she’s got my back and I’ve got hers. She’s one of those people who really channels her energy into lifting you up, supporting you and making you feel on top of the world.
Tell a friendship story…
I met my best friend in the world (Sam) at college. She came up to me one day and asked what I was doing for lunch. When I said I didn’t know, she told me I was going with her. She didn’t ask, she just said “right, you’re coming with me” and that little moment changed my life forever. Sam recently told me she knew as soon as she spoke to me that we’d be best friends for life. So far, so good.
Where can readers find you online?