How to tell if someone is being fake nice
“Friendly Fake: A person who acts nice in your presence but talks about you badly when you’re not around.”
— Urban dictionary
‘She’s really friendly to me…. no actually she’s one of those super friendly to my face but I know she’s not a friend’ people. It was the perfect reminder that there is a big difference between fake nice and being a friend and everyone needs to know it.
When you know the signs, fake nice people are everywhere. It can be regularly witnessed in the workplace, in family setups, when you find yourself as a +1 in a well-established friend group or when someone wants something from you to benefit themselves. Don’t be fooled anymore here are 5 way to tell if someone is being fake nice.
5 ways to tell if someone is being fake nice
Their vibe makes you feel instantly uncomfortable
They just have to walk into the same room as you and their fake nice vibe makes you feel instantly uncomfortable and negative. If you have an instant gut feeling about someone… listen to it. You should ALWAYS listen to your intuition. If your gut instinct is to pull away or get away from that person, listen to it. You cannot out-friendly a bad vibe!
Their body language puts you on edge
When they talk to you their eyes really stare at you and it feels like they are piercing a hole straight through your soul. Fake nice people still give off their dislike through their body language. Whether it’s uncomfortably long eye contact to subtly control you, whether they look you up and down or give you a half-hearted smile, these are all signs.
They insult you then pretend they’re joking (but they obviously aren’t!)
Ah there’s nothing like a cheeky insult disguised by a joke. If someone has thought of the joke, they have picked out your insecurities. They may even ask you backhanded questions so that they can line themselves up to insult you. They might ask where you got an item of clothing from, whether you’ve had your hair done or something similar. But they don’t follow up with a sincere compliment, more of a ‘I’m going to intentionally make you feel like crap now’ comment.
They don’t care what you have to say
They direct the conversation so that they can talk about themselves. They will ask how your weekend was so that they can tell you how great their weekend was, they will ask if you’re going on holiday so they can talk about their holiday or ask about your life and put you down. Their intentions are to belittle you.
They intentionally leave you out of conversation, social events and totally talk about you behind your back
These are the guaranteed results of letting fake nice people into your life. They will continue to treat you badly, make you feel inadequate and strip you of your self confidence. Don’t let them do it.
What to do about it
The good news is you’ve read this blog post and should now easily be able to identify if the person you’re thinking about is indeed being fake nice to you. Honestly, if you suspect someone is being fake nice, they probably are.
Vibes, gut instinct and all the points above don’t lie! There’s no need to be offended if someone is not genuine with you, it is their problem, not yours. Instead, it is good to be aware of all of these things to protect yourself. Sometimes people do not have good intentions and will be being fake nice for their own benefit whether it be for status, for a promotion or to get to someone else through you.
If you can distance yourself from the fake nice people, do it! If you can’t because of factors like work, only associate with them on a work level. Personally distance yourself from them and protect your energy. It’s impossible to get on with everyone, but it doesn’t have to be forced either. Treat them in a way that feels natural to you and continue with your day as normal, no matter what they do. Share the bare minimum with them about yourself and keep them at an arm’s length.
Keep doing you, love yourself and keep your vibe positive. Never change for anyone. Your vibe really does attract your tribe and there is no need for you to waste any more time and energy on people that don’t deserve your friendship.