How to embrace loneliness and reinvent yourself
So you feel super lonely right now and don’t know what to do next? Maybe you’re newly single, stuck in a job you hate, feeling like you’re not where you want to be in life, moved city and have no one familiar around you or just itching to make changes in your life. For whatever reason you are lonely right now, I want you to know that this is a challenging chapter of growth, pain and heartbreak but it will lead to happiness, success and fulfilment.
Living your best life will come from these times of struggle and eventually you will come to realise why you had to go through this stage of your life. This chapter will make you appreciate when you get everything you want and you will so incredibly grateful for it.
Notice that I call this a chapter? That is exactly how you should see this moment. Imagine when reading a book, a dramatic chapter you didn’t see coming. Lots of things happen, lots of people change and it’s all a big surprise. Then you read on and the next chapter brings wonderful things and different pieces of the puzzle start slotting together. By the end of the story you can totally see why that chapter had to be in the book and how it lead everyone to be where they needed to be.
You are in the transitional chapter and you will stop feeling lonely. You may want your life as you know it to completely change and that is fine. One step at a time, one goal at a time and one dream at a time your life can and will be exactly how you want it. Here you will find 10 steps to embrace your loneliness and reinvent yourself. Anything is possible if you are prepared to work for it. There will be dark days, but the light at the end of the tunnel is already shining, you just haven’t seen it yet.
Here are 10 steps: How to embrace loneliness and reinvent yourself
1. Accept that it takes time to heal
If something has happened to lead you to where you are now, accept that it takes time to heal. Let your heart grieve, let your mind think, let your soul replenish and let your life calm. Time is a healer but the mixture of emotions will hit you when you least expect them to. They will keep coming back months later, even years later but they will be more manageable as time passes.
2. Take time to think about what YOU really want
The best thing about being lonely is that you need to be completely reliant on yourself. Now is your time to breathe, to look within and to finally love yourself. What do you want to change about your current situation? Eliminating all external factors and people, who really are YOU?
3. Dream BIG & make a plan to achieve them
Now is your time to dream BIG! Hitting rock bottom is exactly what you need to dust yourself off and start a fresh. The only way is up! What have you always wanted to do that you haven’t? What things do you want to improve? Who do you want to be?
4. Turn your dreams into goals
At this stage I love the quote ‘No dreams, just goals’! Make those dreams manageable. Set yourself goals & time targets. Really align your mind with your goals and believe you can do it. This is your time to fully rely on yourself. You cannot look to anyone else to help you achieve your dreams. In fact it’s a good time to warn you, people won’t believe in you – and usually this will be the people closest to you! Don’t listen… keep going and use any negativity as motivation to move forwards. The best revenge is a happy life!
5. Work HARD!
Achieving your dreams is not easy! You will be constantly uncomfortable, tired and treading water – that’s how it’s meant to feel. Dedicate your time and energy you’ve been wasting on feeling lonely into your dreams. Shut down the pity party, pull yourself together and create something amazing. Turn your life into a success story.
6. Warning: There will be really bad days
There will always be bad days. I bet even Beyonce has bad days! Take extra care of yourself on the grey days but never stop fighting. Happiness is found in loving yourself, finding an incredible circle of friends to share your journey with and creating more positive days than negative days. There is strength within you even when you’re feeling weak. I promise you won’t be lonely forever.
7. Invest time in your friendships
Now is the time to create your tribe. Spot the toxic friends that don’t make you feel good – trust your gut on this one and then detox them. Prepare to step out of your comfort zone and make new friends. A support network is an amazing thing to have but this time alone will teach you a very valuable lesson to not rely on anyone else. Whatever it is you want, only you can make it happen.
8. Celebrate small wins
Start a document and note down every small win. Any compliment, any progress, any thing positive and any love notes to your self. Keeping a diary each day is a fantastic way to physically see your progress. Success comes from a little bit of progress every day, it isn’t an over night thing which can make it feel like a slog (just keep slogging)! Don’t wait until you reach your goal to be proud of yourself. Be proud of every step you take.
9. Love yourself
Find out what things make you happy, do all of those things and love yourself the whole way through this chapter. The biggest lesson you will learn is how to spend time alone, how to care for yourself and be kind to yourself. If you ever lose love don’t go out looking for it. Reach inside you and recreate what you think you lost. You are love, you can’t lose you.
10. Never, ever give up
Your present is not forever. Give this chapter everything you have; work hard, stay grateful and keep fighting. You deserve better and you are going to get better. If you make a little big of progress every single day you will soon notice big changes. Feeling stuck is the most frustrating thing ever but if you start to make little changes now everything will fall into place.
This is your time. The universe has big plans for you but not just yet. This is a painful chapter, a time for growth and a time you will learn many lessons. Walking alone for a while is not a sign of weakness it is a sign of strength. You need this chapter more than you will ever know. When universal timing and our timing are different, that doesn’t mean that things aren’t working. Trust the process.
You will learn to love yourself so that you can love those around you, you will know how to care for yourself so that you can care for those around you and you will know how to be alone but not lonely so that you won’t have to rely on anyone but yourself. Embrace your loneliness and reinvent yourself. I promise this path finally leads to your happiness.