When I first started my blog I went on a mission to find local bloggers I could connect with. I read an article that had listed Cassie as a Suffolk social media star and instantly loved her blog and her vibe. I casually stalked her on Instagram for a while (as you do) until I finally took the plunge and sent her a DM! I was fully expecting to not get a reply, but instead I was greeted by the most sweetest, kind and supportive lady. A few weeks later we swapped digital life for a real life meet-up and now there’s no stopping us! I can quite honestly say Cassie has now become a wonderful friend. In this friendship interview she shares with us her experiences of friendship and her take on how to make friends.
Hi Cassie, I love your blog CassieFairy, when did you start it and how did you come up with the idea?
Thank you, I love your blog too! I began writing my blog in 2010 after I finished my MA in Lifestyle Promotion. I’d dabbled in blogging in 2006/07 while documenting the Fairtrade challenge I did with the Student’s Union so I was excited to start my own blog when I left university. I wanted to practice writing articles, so used my blog in the same way that an artist uses a sketchbook to develop their skills and ideas. I began creating content every day and now I’m doing what I love as a full-time job!
Do you ever experience feelings of loneliness being a freelancer and how do you avoid/overcome them?
I think I’m well suited to the world of freelance work – I’m very happy in my own company and was always the kind of child who would hang out in their room reading rather than playing outside. That said, I can go for days without leaving the house and for weeks without seeing anyone other than my husband (and cats!) so it’s easy to feel lonely when you’re alone for such long stretches of time. Luckily, I know a lot of other freelancers who are usually online at the same times I am so there’s always someone to reach out to for a chat if needed. And I’ve got better at going out and meeting people in real life since reading HowToMakeFriends.
Tell me about your current friend circle and how have your friendships formed and changed throughout your life?
I feel really lucky to have a great circle of friends. Actually, it’s a few circles that sometimes intersect. The first circle contains my childhood friends. There are a few of us who have stayed in touch since school and, even though I’ve lost touch with some friends over the years, those that remain are like family to me. The second circle contains my university friends, and this is a huge group! We went through so much together and still see each other regularly despite the distance between us now. I thought that I was ‘done’ for friends after university, but since moving across the country I’ve been lucky enough to find new friends. It’s harder to meet people when you move to a new town, but I’ve found some wonderful pals through classes I’ve taken, while hanging out at the local pub, at creative events and through blogging.
Have you been through a friend breakup and why did it happen?
Occasionally, when circumstances change (moving away, having families or starting new jobs) contact can begin to slow down and it’s natural to begin to drift apart. Suddenly you realise that it has been years since you saw each other and can’t believe how much time has passed! I’m always happy to reconnect with the friends I’ve lost touch with, and it’s wonderful when I get an email out of the blue from an old friend to catch up.
When was the last time you made a new friend and how?
I made a new friend within the last month and it’s down to the good advice I got from HowToMakeFriends! I had seen my new friend around at events and had always enjoyed chatting with her socially, so I took the plunge and suggested a day out. We met up this week and could’ve chatted for hours more, so I think that’s a good sign of a blossoming friendship.
What qualities do you think make a good friend?
I think transparency – or do I mean honesty? – is a good trait in a friend. I don’t want it to be hard work to figure out a friend or to have to second-guess what they’re thinking! I also appreciate kindness. I don’t think that’s too much of a contradiction because, even though I want transparency, I don’t want people to be harsh with their honesty! I like my friends to be kind and caring, and I won’t put up with negativity, drama or rudeness.
What kind of friend are you?
I’m a thoughtful friend. I check in on my pals regularly and try to help them be happy.
What is your best piece of advice when it comes to friendship?
If you like yourself, it’s easier for other people to like you too, as you’ll be giving off all the happy vibes that’ll attract the kind of friends you want! And you can’t make friends if you don’t leave the house or don’t speak to anyone, so join in with something – an event, workshop, club or class – and strike up conversations while you’re there.
Tell a friendship story…
My university friends and I meet up each year in November for “Friendmas”. We hire a holiday home and have a Christmas celebration together before things get too crazy in December! We play games on Friendmas eve, cook a big Friendmas dinner and exchange secret Santa gifts. The line-up has changed over the years, with partners and children joining in, but it’s what keeps us together as a friendship group. We live all around the country so it’s our chance to meet up in the middle for a weekend of silliness and big hugs.
Where can readers find you online?