Have you ever found yourself in an engaging, meaningful, enjoyable conversation with someone you’ve just met and you instantly wanted to be their friend? Your using the tips from how can I be a likeable person, you’ve found things in common, they’re easy to talk to and you agree with a lot that they have to say. You are really enjoying the conversation and it’s coming to a natural end. You would love to continue talking, swap details but you don’t know how to progress it further.
This is usually the time when the inner voice in your head starts taking over. The one that says what if they don’t like me? The voice gets louder as it tells you a million reasons why this person wouldn’t want to be friends with you. Even worse you assume they might make things really awkward and insult you here and now. Well, I promise you won’t be lonely forever.
Making new friends takes confidence, being brave and taking risks. Like anything, if you don’t ask you don’t get. If you are comfortable with who you are the worst that will happen is that they say no and you’ll brush it off and move on. Making friends as an adult is hard because you fear rejection. Quite literally, if someone does not want to be friends with you it is their loss. It takes some time and energy to create meaningful connections and follow them up but when you do you will reap so much experience, positivity and new friends that any past rejection will be really insignificant. If someone does not want to be your friend, move on and find someone that does. How a strong woman says goodbye and moves on.
Here are 5 easy steps: How to ask someone to be your friend
Step 1: Listen to your gut instinct
When you meet someone for the first time, it is really important to listen to your gut instinct. You have a few seconds of your gut giving you its instant soul reaction before your mind will kick in. If you practice using your gut instinct when meeting new people you will feel either a push or pull vibe. If you get the push away from that person you don’t need to waste your time or energy building a connection with them, however, if you feel a pull attracting you to them it’s well worth investing in getting to know them better.
Step 2: Make the connection
Ask their name (use it within the conversation), listen to what they have to say, ask questions and make them feel like they are the only person in the room. These are all fantastic ways to make new friends and get people to like you. It’s important that you leave the conversation knowing and remembering lots about them so that you can discuss and bring it up later in other conversations.
Step 3: Put out a feeler
Mid-conversation you can easily and subtly put out a feeler. If there is something you have in common, you can suggest that you should go together. This is not with intent to make a plan there and then and put it in your diary, this is simply a brief mention of meeting again to gauge their interest. If they agree enthusiastically you can follow the next steps or if they come across reluctant or make excuses why they can’t, wrap up the conversation and move on to talking to someone else.
Step 4: Be confident & make the first move
If you have had a lovely conversation, if you have found things in common, if they have already agreed you should do something in the future, now is your time to completely own it and make the first move. Do it with confidence and clarity and of course, the other person will agree to see you again. Continue your conversation and move to step 5.
Step 5: Conversation close & swap details
Always leave a conversation feeling like you could have chatted for hours more. It gives you the want to see them again and plenty to talk about next time too. The best bit of following steps 1-4 is that you have already gauged interest and things you have in common. You have quite literally set yourself up with a starting point to swap details. Now is the time to revisit step 3 by repeating what they have already agreed to. ‘It’s been lovely talking to you, we really must go check out that restaurant you told me about, let’s swap details and we will get it arranged’. You will sound confident, you will be taking control of the situation and you will be making a new friend. Let them decide how they would like to be in contact with you. They may feel more confident in adding each other on Facebook rather than numbers at this stage, whichever means of communication is great.
Asking someone to be your friend is nerve-wracking, but if they are invested in a conversation with you, you will absolutely make their day. I remember the first time someone asked me to be their friend and I was absolutely flattered. I still talk about it now and it still makes me feel really happy. There are people out there wanting to be your friend, take ownership and make the first move.