I’m too busy to make friends

Firstly, let me start off with a little real talk…being busy is not an excuse for anything. Ok that may have sounded a little harsh, but now for the good news? Being busy simply means you have other priorities and that is ok. And the big finale…the best bit? If you really want to make friends a simple shift in your organisation and approach will have you fulfilling your friendship needs in no time.

Which busy are you?

Read the two descriptions below and identify which busy resonates with you.

“Being ‘busy’ can be identified in two ways. It can be used as a disguise to hide feelings of loneliness or it can be used intentionally to live a fulfilling life. ”

If you have been using being busy as a secret weapon to disguise feelings of loneliness, I absolutely hear you and you don’t need to tell me any more (well actually you can I’m always here to chat but if you don’t want to read on…). Being busy is the perfect excuse to check out of reality. Being busy is a drug. It fogs your brain, doesn’t give you time to think about your true feelings and heightens your sense of stress to make you feel wanted where you may not be in other areas of your life. Follow the below steps and I promise you won’t be lonely forever.

Being intentionally busy is completely different. I love hearing of people being busy chasing dreams, jobs, side hustles, raising families, volunteering, joining clubs, taking up hobbies and filling their life with meaningful stuff they absolutely love.

Whichever type of ‘busy’ you are, the following steps will apply to you. With a simple shift in your mindset, priorities and realising what you actually want, busy will no longer be an excuse and your life will be full of rewarding friendships and a social life to match.

Follow these 5 easy steps to banish why you may be too busy to make friends and get ready to spark up your social life

Step 1: Identify & organise your priorities

In adult life priorities are really important. They help you navigate through daily life, achieve your goals and ultimately be who you want to be. If you are feeling too busy in all aspects of your life it is time to sit and think about your priorities including where you spend the majority of your time. Although ideally a nice work/life balance is lovely, sometimes temporarily prioritising goals and tasks can help you progress to where you want to be. The beauty of prioritising tasks is that the order can always be amended and shifted depending on how you are feeling. Listen to your natural instinct. Are you craving time with friends, a relaxing moment alone or making progress in your career? Listen to your heart’s desires and prioritise around it.

Step 2: Are you the problem?

If you have been really, really busy recently you may have let friendships slip. Have a think about how you have been managing your friendships. Have you been impossible to get hold of, have you been flakey or have you not shown much love to those around you? Although it’s great to want to make new friends it can also be just as lovely to make an effort with the people that are already there for you. Don’t let being stubborn get in the way of you reaching out to rekindle friendships. You may not have heard from your friend in a while but maybe they are giving you the space they think you need. They may be putting off contacting you as much as you are putting off contacting them. Just do it. In most cases, you will simply pick up where you left off and you will have lots of lovely things to catch up on. It’s really fun to do both and make new friends but keep the old.

Step 3: No more excuses

It can be really easy to use being ‘busy’ as an excuse to put things off. You may have told yourself you’re too busy to make friends so many times that you really truly believe it. But what you really need to consider is if you have been using being busy as a disguise for not wanting to open yourself up to feelings of loneliness or fear of having to make new friends and not knowing how. All of these feelings are absolutely natural and you need to be completely honest with yourself. By releasing these emotions you have been covering up, you can now move past the things that have been holding you back. You can channel your new sense of freedom into positivity and confidence to be able to go out and get exactly what you want.

Step 4: What can you change?

When going into making new friends a lot of people use external factors as a reason why it is so hard to make friends as an adult. Things like no time, they don’t go to new places, never meet new people and don’t have time. When you look at this list you’ll soon realise they are all excuses. These are all things that can be changed.

Step 5: Love yourself

Whichever kind of busy you identified yourself as, with some self-love you will be able to easily make new friends. It all starts with you. If you are using busy to hide emotions it is time to face up to reality and do something about it. Make time to address how you are really feeling and what you want to do about it. If your life is filled with busy everyday living but you never have time for yourself it is time to face up to reality and do something about it. Factor in me-time and friend slots to create time for relaxing and socialising. Take care of yourself first and your relationships, friendships, work, hobbies and goals will perfectly follow suit.

Author: Gemma Scopes

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