I found myself in a circle of out of character negativity, exhaustion and unhappiness and I was desperate to get back on track. I sat alone and still while my mind wandered over what had changed…and then it came to me. I had got into a circle of comparing myself to anyone and everyone recently and in doing so I was getting further and further away from my goals. The negative circle of feeling like I wasn’t good enough, self-sabotaging and then being unhappy about the whole situation turned into a daily habit very quickly. I had become obsessed with silly things. I was watching ‘what I ate’ youtube videos thinking I could imitate and magically change the shape of my entire body, I was scrolling endlessly through Instagram feeds dreaming of a better life and I was feeling envious of other people’s successes.
It is actually completely unreasonable to compare ourselves to anyone else. The pressures to live up to someone else’s goals is madness and completely self-inflicted. Instead, they are focusing on their own goals and that is exactly what we should be doing too.
If you are feeling overwhelmed with comparison and relating to my story. It is time to break the circle, to get back to living your authentic life and to be free. Here are 5 simple ways not to compare yourself to others and instantly feel happier.
5 ways to not compare yourself to others
Set yourself realistic goals
If you find your mind frantically living in the future of trying to achieving the long-term goals you need to stop. Having long-term goals is lovely but it will also make you miss your life that is happening right now and it is important to not take your friends for granted. Accomplishments take time and that is the beauty of them. If everything you wanted happened instantly you would not truly value or appreciate the results. When you see people living the life you want, achieving the things you want or have the body you want; they have worked hard, been through their own insecurities and have had their own doubts too. Everything is so instant in the world now that seemingly quick fixes are advertised everywhere. The truth is there is no quick fix. Here are 10 friendship goals that are actually realistic.
Strive for progress, not perfection
This quote is everything. I encourage you to write a simple progress journal. Write down your goals and simply give them a tick each day if you have made progress towards achieving them. There is no need to complicate it any further than that. Progress means you have been successful. If you didn’t make progress that day, tomorrow is a new day.
Eat alone, take yourself on dates and be happy in your own company. You will learn everything you need to know about yourself. You will grow, you will earn to be strong for yourself and you will learn who you are. Listen to your heart and grow with compassion and love. When you do meet people you will have clarity of knowing they are a great fit into your life. I promise you won’t be lonely forever.
Make yourself happy first
In the teaching of not being selfish, self-worth got missed from the agenda. As children, it is programmed into us that we should share and put others before ourselves. While I agree it is an important part of relationships and friendships actually stress, anxiety and depression are caused when we ignore who we are and start living to please others. Self-love is absolutely essential to being mindful and happy. Start to worry less about what others are doing it’s time to avoid FOMO and feel better instantly.
Life moves on
A great thing about life is that it always moves on. You have the choice to change the way you are feeling, being and living. You can make a conscious effort to change right now. Live a life of freedom, happiness and abundance. Comparison really is the biggest thief of joy. Next time you find yourself comparing yourself to others be realistic that they are on their own journey which is not the same as yours.