My friend is so needy

My friend is so needy

Her name pops up on the screen, I wait for it to ring off and continue scrolling aimlessly through Facebook. It’s not like I’m intentionally ignoring her but I really don’t want to have to feel like I have to see her today. It’s my only day off this week and I’ve got things to do and other people I want to see. Sometimes it’s just easier to say yes to her demands because it makes my life easier, but today I’m not in the mood. I’m feeling tired and irritable and I can’t deal with her today. I’m annoyed to keep being put in this position and now I’ll feel guilty all day for ignoring her and I know I’ll eventually have to answer. I’ve found that actually it’s easier to leave it until it’s too late in the day to do anything and really overplay what a shame it is that we missed each other. Sometimes we do have a lovely time together, but this excessive neediness between our hangouts really has to stop. It’s tiring, it’s draining, it’s making me want to lie about my time off and how busy I am. I do enjoy spending time with her, but she’s really starting to have such a negative impact.  




We’ve all come across someone like this before. They are lovely to spend time with but can flip into getting possessive over you, jealous when you spend time with other people and a burden with their constant fight for your attention. What they don’t realise is that this type of behaviour actually pushes you away. It’s time to release yourself from this negative strain and either mend the friendship or detox the friendship with the below top tips.

4 top tips: for dealing with ‘my friend is so needy’

Learn to say no and set boundaries – this is really the most important first step. Put yourself first. Schedule her in at a time that suits you. You should never have to feel like you are obliged to spend time with someone. Only if you plan to do something you want to do, be willing to spend time with that person and enjoy your time together should you even be spending your time with them.

Be honest- Don’t feel like you have to lie when you want to spend time elsewhere. Tell her straight your intentions, be confident and own it. Friends tend to become needy because they feel like they have power over you and your actions. They will see a weakness that they can overpower in you. But now it’s time to turn the tables and get real! She may become argumentative as it will be a surprise to her, but just ignore her and let her cool off.

Use the friend detox fade away technique – Start to slow your replies, leave those calls and message back later and you have every right to not feel guilty about it. When she knows you are not ready to answer her beckon call she will soon realise that she can’t contact you expecting instant replies. Slow the friendship down, set the tone for how communication should be between the both of you and she will soon match your behaviour.   

Detox them completely from your life – If she’s not reacting to any of the above methods or if you are ready to completely detox her from your life, then cut and run! No friendship should be a negative one no matter how long you’ve known them or what you’ve been through together. Sometimes friendships run their cause and it is time to move on and make new friends.  

Author: Gemma Scopes

Gemma Scopes is an award-winning friendship blogger and coach on a mission to cure loneliness amongst adults. Are you ready to build your self-worth, make friends & spark up your social life?

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