Following on from last post (My Friend Project – 5 Perfect Friends?) I set about filling my 5 new spaces. Where to meet friends in your 20s was my first challenge. I’m fairly confident meeting new people, I can talk to strangers and I’m open to trying new things.
I think the best thing to come from this journey is that suddenly you see the world so differently. You are more aware of how you spend your time, who is around you and you focus on quality conversation. You have to look for the opportunity to make friends wherever you go. Unfortunately there is no secret location that all other 20 somethings are waiting to find other friends.
I would like to mention here that age may not need to be a factor. One of my now friends from this project is over 10 years older than me and she is the best! She is wise, hilarious and everything she says I just have those “YESSSSS” moments with of pure agreement.
I joined a friend app (more about that coming soon).
I then started by contacting people I had fallen out of contact with in an attempt to fill my slots the easy way. Unfortunately on the most part this did not pay off. I was either cancelled on or didn’t enjoy the time I spent with them. Quite honestly this made me feel more shit than ever before. If you have ever been cancelled on for no real reason you will know what I mean. These are the types of people that made me realise I needed new friends in the first place!
There was me naively looking forward to the date we had arranged completely unknowingly about to be cancelled on last minute. If there is anything worse than being cancelled on, it is last minute, leaving you no opportunity to reschedule with someone else and no choice to sit in alone and sulk.
I’m always one to turn a negative into a positive and this gave me the realisation I needed to do this properly for my sake and for everyone I was going to share the secret of friend finding with.
After more discussions with people who knew about My Friend Project we had a really interesting thought. Maybe you shouldn’t arrange dates with friends. Imagine never arranging a meetup again? Instead you should do things YOU want to do. If you’ve arranged something that you want to do and the other person cancels, you just go and do it anyway. It takes away relying on someone else, it takes away disappointment, it takes away sitting in crying into a pizza and a bottle of wine alone on a Saturday night!
It was one of those light bulb moments… I knew exactly what I had to do next. Embark on my first day out…. ALONE!